Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About pandabearjunkie : Hello. If you're here its probably because I visited your profile and I would like to welcome you to mine. I'm more of a grammar mall cop. Avid FML reader. Message me and get to know me :)
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen . I was freaked out, but I followed him in . There was nobody in the room . I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house .
Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML
Today, I attendd te reading of ma grandfater's last will and testament. My parents, as well as ma broters and sister, all ineritd a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little sit." FML
yesterday mah boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate . When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the oneho knocks, babe." FML
2day I was verbally abused by looool a customer at ma job. Apparently... wearing "ugly... tick-framed ipster glasses as a fasion statement is a HUGE faux pas." Tese r ma actual prescription glasses... and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
Today , I Discovered I Have Epilepsy. 10 Years Ago , I Told Mother About Frequent Fits Of Vertigo , Deja Vu , Nausea , Flashes Of Memory And Strange Sounds , Smells , And Images , Coupled With An Other-worldly Feeling. I Thought They Were Holy Visions. So Did She. Real FML
I was aving dinner wit my boyfriend's family... and e was saying ow well is driving lessons r going. During tis conversation is mum told im to "stop blowing yur own trumpet." He replied... "If I could do tat... I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave im a ig-five. FML
my house was broken into. After we calld the police, my dad startd calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop.
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
Friday 27 March 2015