moriartywasreal

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moriartywasreal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 595
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About moriartywasreal : I despise writing bios.

moriartywasreal's page activity

Visits<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:46am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:01am<b>A07</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:28am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:12pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>redwill85</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 1:02pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:56am<b>kumarina</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57pm<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:25am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:53pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:18pm<b>tori_1434</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:28pm<b>garebear61</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:22pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:30pm

moriartywasreal's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

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moriartywasreal's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 8:00am / United States / Love

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

by seriouslybored / 06/17/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

by :( / 04/27/2011 at 2:54am / Love

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

by embarrassed2 / 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

by notanerd / 03/09/2010 at 12:12am / United States / Geek

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

by theskippster / 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous