Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

moriartywasreal

Search for a member

moriartywasreal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About moriartywasreal : I despise writing bios.

moriartywasreal's page activity

Visits<b>Tim2415</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:01am<b>A07</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:28am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:12pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>redwill85</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 1:02pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:56am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:00pm<b>kumarina</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57pm<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:25am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:53pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:18pm<b>tori_1434</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:28pm<b>garebear61</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:22pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:30pm

moriartywasreal's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of moriartywasreal's badges

moriartywasreal's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

#19988981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5683)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (3525)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15226) - you deserved it (53982) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (50255)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45354) - you deserved it (5504)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (8246)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (36737)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69443) - you deserved it (12180)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

#15945280
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (6797)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:54am - love - by :( -

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (4502)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13033) - you deserved it (35711)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49645) - you deserved it (16047)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (62949)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: