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midnightm16

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midnightm16

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  • Number of visits : 624
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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midnightm16's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15022) - you deserved it (37969)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

#14853922
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

#14738891
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (3187)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by kittyd (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

#14729815
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (6566)

On 01/27/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Bury)

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8219) - you deserved it (72796)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

#14386924
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44789) - you deserved it (9048)

On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (10543)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10198) - you deserved it (45640)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML

#14251637
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

#14107891
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5958) - you deserved it (35052)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (8867)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (7993)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (52765)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)



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