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midnightm16's favorite FMLs
by dany / 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
by CalyenaL / 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Health
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by George Saunders / 03/21/2012 at 12:06am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 7:29am / United States / Health
by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 9:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
by DirtyCharmed / 11/01/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids