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midnightm16's favorite FMLs
by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by George Saunders / 03/21/2012 at 12:06am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 7:29am / United States / Health
by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 9:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
by DirtyCharmed / 11/01/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids
by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
by mrsekko / 05/31/2011 at 8:44am / United States / Health
by LimeyGoodteeth / 05/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work