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midnightm16

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midnightm16
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13266) - you deserved it (1775)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35701) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39002) - you deserved it (6044)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51216) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

#21039686
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46510) - you deserved it (3443)

On 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41871) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (38376)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48256) - you deserved it (29418)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45455) - you deserved it (3839)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (21678)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (22107)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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