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littlem91

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littlem91
  • Town/Country : Cornwall, England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 209
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About littlem91 : I'm somewhere on the coast in England. And I love animals, photography and sarcasm.

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Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (5389)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

#20006315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3520) - you deserved it (16736)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

#19984576
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (4604)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML

#19800401
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (1546)

On 06/17/2012 at 4:50am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36935)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (4943)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (4943)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (8325)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (1883)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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