About leroyyyjenkins : I like burritos more than I like Jesus.
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leroyyyjenkins's favorite FMLs
Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML
by EliTheAdorable / 07/28/2014 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by aireeahna / 06/08/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML
by moneybenny / 06/07/2014 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML
by anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by _Ducks_ / 05/28/2014 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML
by IntoTheClouds / 05/22/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Vermont) / Work
by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
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