Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kenjenkei

Online | Search for a member

kenjenkei

24Fucked!

kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2721
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

Visits<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:54pm<b>passworthy</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:57pm<b>lidium_19</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:47pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:34pm<b>buckman1011</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:24am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:51pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 6:49am<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:24pm<b>Krwman</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Ddanimal</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>DougK76</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:57am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:17pm<b>mike788</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:18pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:46am<b>funnypants12</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:59am<b>martin8337</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:01am<b>coried91</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:06pm

Fucked!<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:54am<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:51am<b>DougK76</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:57pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:02am<b>sam9697</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:34pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:20pm<b>tiredteenager</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:02am<b>countrygirl2272</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:40pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:46pm<b>BellaRoseeee</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:35pm<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:01pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:14pm

kenjenkei's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of kenjenkei's badges

kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (12946)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (29294)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37248) - you deserved it (5867)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (1563)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13119) - you deserved it (26484)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30479) - you deserved it (2842)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (10896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (41151)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22133) - you deserved it (4354)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: