julesebules

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Julesebules's favorite FMLs

By kunjac0945 - 14/09/2015 05:21 - United States - New York

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 354

kunjac0945 tells us more.

kunjac0945 21

Monday 14 September 2015 16:46

OP here. For clarity's sake, this actually happened to me several years ago, on the first day of my summer break. I had to spend the rest of break, as well as my birthday in a cast.

By busmonster - 12/09/2015 00:32 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 145

You deserved it 22 387

By pansypup - 03/09/2015 02:30 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 760

You deserved it 2 213

By bwoolf96 - 10/09/2015 12:32

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

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You deserved it 1 866

By PhoenixChick - 08/09/2015 18:54 - United States - Champaign

Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 843

PhoenixChick tells us more.

PhoenixChick 26

Wednesday 9 September 2015 14:44

Hey, OP here! You know, this might be a comment thread that saves lives. I had already decided to put my foot down on me or my husband ever riding with MIL, but...I hadn't thought about everyone else. And now I have. I do not live with my in-laws, but we live in the same town and I cannot drive at night so it gets awkward to refuse their offers when my husband can't take me somewhere. Funny thing is, there is no legal restrictions on my driving,the DMV keeps insisting I'm fine, but I know that my contacts and retinal disease give me issues with headlights and therefore I shouldn't. I'm fine during the day, but stay off the road at night. I'm careful because my eye disease is from my father, who kept driving at night when he shouldn't. Nearly killed himself in an accident. I know who my MIL's doctor is, and I'm going to call his office. She MUST have lied to the DMV, and I think it'll be easier to talk to her doctor than to the DMV. I just have to brace myself for if she finds out. Thank you all for the help. My in-laws are rather good at manipulation. I've known them for ten years, and they use MIL's medical issues to overrule literally everything. She has serious psych issues, and FIL is very protective of her feelings. To the point of letting her lie to my husband's doctors when he was in the ER because it made MIL "feel useful" to tell the doctor's things about my husband's health. She was making up all kinds of things about my husband's condition when he went in for emergency surgery, and when I corrected her I got yelled at by my father in law for making MIL "feel bad." Nevermind that her lies to the operating surgeon could have gotten my husband seriously hurt or killed. So yeah, this ends now. I'm not going to let her hurt anybody else if I csn help it. Wish me luck, I've got a fight on my hands...