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ipaduaino

Offline (the 01/11/2015 at 9:01pm) | Search for a member

ipaduaino

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ipaduaino's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:32am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:45am

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I’m your new creative director

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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ipaduaino's favorite FMLs

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44476) - you deserved it (5336)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (9631)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (6352)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55142) - you deserved it (9220)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49248) - you deserved it (6506)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6417) - you deserved it (43331)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (10626)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (4584)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (2759)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (8880)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States



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