iAlissa

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 3:05pm)

iAlissa

717Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11196
  • Number of comments : 751
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 14 posted

About iAlissa : I like sushi, dogs and milkshakes.

iAlissa's page activity

Visits<b>joco4</b> - 37 minutes ago<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - yesterday at 12:41pm<b>sleeprt</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 11:10am<b>Girsaurus</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 8:09am<b>warrior1995</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 7:27am<b>matman82</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 7:08pm<b>ezzala</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 5:57pm<b>CreativeName1</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 1:54pm<b>The_Bleeder</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 9:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 9:47pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 11:49pm<b>Home1esswaff1e</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 5:11pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 4:42am<b>keif_623</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 6:17pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 11:06pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 8:20pm

Fucked!<b>joco4</b> - just now<b>Home1esswaff1e</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 11:11pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 9:13pm<b>assem977</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 8:17pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 8:55am<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 1:59pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 7:26pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 8:33am<b>iliveformystery</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 11:11pm<b>thatannoyingdude</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 9:12am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:33am<b>ekeagle</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 3:20pm<b>stickpage13</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 2:27am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:11pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:09am<b>kevinjiang</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:56pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:07pm

iAlissa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAlissa's badges

iAlissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

by Carrie / 05/08/2013 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

by Aunjy / 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

by MrConcise / 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

by Sean / 05/01/2013 at 12:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

by pooh anne / 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love