Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iAlissa

Offline (yesterday at 4:47am) | Search for a member

iAlissa

667Fucked!

iAlissaiAlissa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9857
  • Number of comments : 748
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 14 posted

About iAlissa : I like sushi, dogs and milkshakes.

iAlissa's page activity

Visits<b>cohenb93</b> - 2 hours ago<b>PePziNL</b> - 3 hours ago<b>BRAden01</b> - 12 hours ago<b>IceMan11</b> - 14 hours ago<b>rallison22</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:47am<b>vreid</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:59am<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:09pm<b>hobbs96</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:28am<b>ApacheC424</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:33pm<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:04pm<b>jansdrs</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:18pm<b>DigityDank</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:40pm<b>smathers44</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:04pm<b>JohnnyDame23</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:37pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:18pm

Fucked!<b>BRAden01</b> - 6 hours ago<b>hobbs96</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:50pm<b>ApacheC424</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:33am<b>TheSmurgler</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:54pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:13am<b>niceguy123</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:42am<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:45am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:08am<b>junko</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:54am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:23am<b>Zesty_Z</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:30am<b>organizse</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:20am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:56am<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:50am<b>jacqleeen</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:20am<b>Aviator9266</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:15pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:31am

iAlissa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAlissa's badges

iAlissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (55857)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54250) - you deserved it (4278)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (7280)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55368) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53988) - you deserved it (6543)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43031) - you deserved it (6811)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (5515)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46178) - you deserved it (7226)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (4640)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48555) - you deserved it (9474)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66477) - you deserved it (9762)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64442) - you deserved it (9506)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41347) - you deserved it (19691)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66437) - you deserved it (23617)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: