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iAlissa

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iAlissa

347Fucked!

iAlissaiAlissa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7717
  • Number of comments : 689
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About iAlissa : I'm friendly-ish.
Also, to those asking - yes, the puppy is mine. He's a 2 month old Miniature Pinscher and his name is Zeke.

iAlissa's page activity

Visits<b>Jowisee</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Zaldrizes</b> - 8 hours ago<b>theFickleFinger</b> - 22 hours ago<b>kaitlynjane</b> - yesterday at 11:42am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:16am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:21am<b>deathscale500</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:21pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Alup132</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:49pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:44pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:25am<b>ariat357</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:19am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:34am<b>ksbrdkntr</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:18am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 7:49am<b>MaNameJeff</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:30am<b>wratty11</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:47am

Fucked!<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:21am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:18pm<b>ThunderQueef</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:16am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:03am<b>Jonasbrink1</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:33am<b>Mechazilla2</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:11pm<b>timberguy</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:11pm<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:54pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Shuff52</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:49pm<b>LinnySenpai</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:34am<b>xcllla_</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:54am<b>JordanODST</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:14am<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>lifeofpie25</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:31pm<b>JonBall</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:13am

iAlissa's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of iAlissa's badges

iAlissa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50709) - you deserved it (6816)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (7062)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50882) - you deserved it (6213)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (6732)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45408) - you deserved it (7142)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51621) - you deserved it (4555)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47779) - you deserved it (9336)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (8777)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65361) - you deserved it (9640)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62491) - you deserved it (9246)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (19346)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65006) - you deserved it (23175)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58625) - you deserved it (4202)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39302) - you deserved it (12556)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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