hourlybookworm

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Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 8:13am)

hourlybookworm

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hourlybookworm's page activity

Visits<b>noralutter</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:12pm<b>bvgoliday</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 3:06am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:51am<b>shadowhunter426</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:26pm<b>kittycat_2002</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:12am

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hourlybookworm's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2014 at 10:54am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Money

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

by youngboob / 10/21/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

by MissBeyoncé / 10/13/2014 at 4:13am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Animals

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

by allergic_to_bull / 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

by morgie96 / 08/19/2014 at 12:11am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I saw the hottest nurse ever. Too bad he was pulling out a piece of wax the size of a raisin from my blocked ear. FML

by idk / 05/27/2014 at 11:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

by smileytheface / 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation