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gntfmlingnow

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gntfmlingnow
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1399
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About gntfmlingnow : I'm way too lazy to fill out a detailed blog. Also, I love you.

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gntfmlingnow's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (1710)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (3941)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52318) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (26287)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24086) - you deserved it (14961)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (4622)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (9209)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (3980)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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