About girlonfire96 : Probably forever alone. I embarrass myself more than I should.
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girlonfire96's favorite FMLs
by nofriends / 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
by SassyBasher / 10/17/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by erockinthesuburb / 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by secretsmakefriends / 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by collegegrad / 10/15/2013 at 11:51am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML
by Eggs6131 / 10/15/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't… Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool… Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls…