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galactictoast13

Offline (the 08/22/2015 at 4:28pm) | Search for a member

galactictoast13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Brampton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3090
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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galactictoast13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (2306)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (10848)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (27723)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (6306)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (28903)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (23372)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (27584)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31214) - you deserved it (12983)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9038) - you deserved it (37636)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML

#6664600
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (35395)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7334) - you deserved it (80911)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2875)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2875)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)



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