About fmaae82 : Ruck me. Maul me. Make me scrum.
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fmaae82's favorite FMLs
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
by dpap / 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
by thanksmom / 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by lovingthis / 01/09/2013 at 11:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML
by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love
by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by chewybarseventy / 08/24/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
by guard35 / 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
by mistake / 05/11/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today, I began day 19 of my period. I missed two days of my birth control while moving houses and… Today, I found out I have an ingrown toenail. I have my Senior Prom in 3 days and it hurts so bad I… Today, my wife agreed to let me give her a rimjob. All was going well, until she decided to let out…