ex_omer

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 10:19pm)

ex_omer

2Fucked!

ex_omer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3143
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:05am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:53pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>AndyEleven</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:37pm<b>bwg105</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:29pm

ex_omer's FML badges

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ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

by keepsmiling / 09/02/2009 at 7:19am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Intimacy

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

by Overflow / 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

by onehundredpercenteffed / 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

by Glassjaw / 08/01/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

by dinapar / 07/14/2009 at 10:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

by ohdeardarling / 06/14/2009 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

by holliefall / 06/02/2009 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

by cait / 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

by seriouslywtf / 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

by Ugly / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous