ex_omer

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 10:19pm)

ex_omer

2Fucked!

ex_omer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2661
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:05am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:53pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>AndyEleven</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:37pm<b>bwg105</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:29pm

ex_omer's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ex_omer's badges

ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

by cthulhu help me / 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

by daniel55 / 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

by Lesser / 02/17/2013 at 3:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

by Indianagirl94 / 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm / United States / Love