About diceplaya : I do it big.
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diceplaya's favorite FMLs
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
by okay._. / 11/01/2012 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
by GN / 09/17/2012 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
by Laviolette / 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by TerribleAddiction / 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
by GothicbunnyxC / 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm / Romania (Mures) / Work
by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by lollymay13 / 10/11/2011 at 11:22am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by EFFFF / 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by woodre / 09/02/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Money
- Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…