cookiesFTW

Search for a member

Offline (17 hours ago)

cookiesFTW

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9391
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:33pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:46pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:28am<b>redheadedbabe420</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:12am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:44am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:54am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:21pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:46am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:04pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

by why / 07/23/2013 at 9:21am / Miscellaneous

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

by paging dr. kevorkian / 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Love

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

by sanoria51 / 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

by really_now / 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work