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Offline (the 09/04/2015 at 8:47pm)

UWOT

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Hull, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1819
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UWOT : English, antisocial, #1 procrastinator

UWOT's page activity

Visits<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:59am<b>dansco</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>thisduckinguy</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:56am<b>Lockerch</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:27pm<b>CueTheMusic</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:45am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:21pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:00pm<b>grouper</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:32pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:08pm<b>amazing_race190</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:00am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:30pm<b>holyblahblah</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:56pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:58am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>f36k</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 7:45am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:27pm

Fucked!<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>dansco</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:34am

UWOT's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of UWOT's badges

UWOT's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

by drkate25 / 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

by Selfish Whiner / 06/03/2013 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

by samabomination / 06/02/2013 at 4:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work