TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11814
  • Number of comments : 2481
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - 9 hours ago<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 5:47am<b>170107</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:30pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:17pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:37am<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:34am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:46am<b>Oatmeal1311</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:54am<b>baronsmommy</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:39am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:26am<b>musoboy</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:49pm<b>Poetaster</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:42pm<b>AmyRoux</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:11pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:00pm<b>RnLaLa</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Chase31</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:21pm

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am<b>chaoss10</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:44pm<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:25pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:05am<b>Tonher</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:27am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:06pm<b>Kingaru</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:07pm<b>splitms</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:06am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:13am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:00am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:23am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:21pm<b>gamermonster</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:33pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:23pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:06pm<b>jjefferson159</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:25am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 10:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to be more healthy, I made myself a large fruit smoothie. I didn't think it could or would cause me to practically shart my rectum out my ass for the rest of the afternoon. The more you know. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 12:05pm / United States / Health

Today, my mother told me I wasn't worth the 13 hours it took for her to give birth to me. All because I beat her in Parcheesi. FML

by mamano / 03/03/2016 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

by man-period? / 03/02/2016 at 1:48am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

by :| / 09/26/2015 at 12:10am / New Zealand (Nelson) / Kids

Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML

by paaaallllmmmssss / 09/25/2015 at 11:40pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous