Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

156Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30354
  • Number of comments : 2198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - one hour ago<b>missycanfly</b> - 6 hours ago<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - 9 hours ago<b>nonsensical</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Googolman</b> - 14 hours ago<b>LivToFail</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - yesterday at 12:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 8:02am<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:30pm<b>black_day</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Zak_Attack00</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 1:51pm<b>stargazing</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:21pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:50am<b>DMA0712</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 7:26am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:47am<b>oakcrush</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:10pm

Fucked!<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - 3 hours ago<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:31pm<b>qsxsqsxs</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:57pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:37am<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:34pm<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:24am<b>JessiPark</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:52am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:28pm<b>bobby0000000</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:00am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:31am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:10am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:13am<b>AnonymousBella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:40am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (8912)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

#21397904
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (3411)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27439) - you deserved it (5067)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (17452)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (3345)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (2756)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30794) - you deserved it (3591)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (2380)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (4870)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (4185)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (4410)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (3239)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: