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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants
  • Town/Country : North Laurderdale, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11018
  • Number of comments : 1801
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 17. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49116) - you deserved it (7053)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34201) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (9905)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41488) - you deserved it (10879)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (6768)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (3819)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50775) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (49903)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39507) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35869) - you deserved it (4528)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML



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