MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

217Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34330
  • Number of comments : 2310
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>samsterling</b> - 3 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:28pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:27pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:59pm<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 1:25am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:03am<b>u_mad_bro</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:16am<b>andrmac</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:58am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:32am<b>Hazel515</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:42am<b>dizzyable</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:01am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:33pm<b>crharding</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 5:11am<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:08am

Fucked!<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:25am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

by Ryoichi / 09/17/2015 at 7:13am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I made it onto my boss's shit-list, after pointing out that he'd misspelled "customer" as "costumer" 6 times in his report, and "college education" as "collage education" twice. It'd be a dick move on his part even if making corrections like this weren't part of my damn job. FML

by anda1000douchesscourthispostformistakes / 09/16/2015 at 9:42am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 7:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Love

Today, my ex told me about how much the person she left me for loves the lingerie I bought her. FML

by Anon E. Mouse / 09/15/2015 at 7:47am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML

by Banana_Lord / 09/11/2015 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Angus) / Transportation

Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept responsibility for his life choices. I'm over 50 and was spending my last five dollars on beer. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2015 at 11:49am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

by Tag / 09/06/2015 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

by tessie94 / 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 10:54am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

by fuckyoudeadgunnuts / 09/04/2015 at 10:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

by Dehydrated / 09/01/2015 at 7:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

by LPS8585 / 08/31/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

by FuckThis / 08/31/2015 at 9:16am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy