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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 737
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kholonie : Interesting

Kholonie's page activity

Visits<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:06am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:31pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:30pm<b>nobodyspecific</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:36pm<b>melons</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:39pm<b>ColdRoxas</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:25pm<b>uptightpansy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:35pm<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:48pm<b>julian0605</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:24pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:08pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:56pm<b>elkelk</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:14pm<b>tepovre</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:26pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:13pm<b>xCensored</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:15am

Kholonie's FML badges

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Kholonie's favorite FMLs

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

by ricard0 / 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

by PangolinScholar / 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

by nightmarestonite / 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

by TetrisMaster / 11/24/2013 at 7:30am / Australia / Health