GreenAlbatross

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GreenAlbatross

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1497
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About GreenAlbatross : I do admit that I'm a bit of a troll, but I try to do my trolling with a bit of intelligence. I'm a Unitarian Universalist from the SF Bay Area that firmly believes in civil liberties and proper Socialism. Feel free to email me at HeDarra@gmail.com if you would like to have an intelligent discussion or debate. Please do not harass me though, I have better things to do with my time. Have a nice day and watch out for the carnivorous green platypus (He likes to eat people's left toes.).

GreenAlbatross's page activity

Visits<b>frnk</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:51am<b>TacoPeps</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:25am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:50am<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:33am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:54am<b>Clara_Rangel</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:43am<b>em_c182182</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 6:24pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:18pm<b>Abdilatif</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:50am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 6:19pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 12:11am<b>aa1717</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 10:49am<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 06/21/2012 at 9:19pm<b>Sillydeadperson</b> - the 11/27/2011 at 3:22pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:15pm

GreenAlbatross's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

GreenAlbatross's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

by crookedteeth / 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

by emily / 07/30/2009 at 4:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

by 4yrldkicker / 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

by TrueStories / 04/13/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

by Michaelichael / 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

by Monty / 03/01/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Oregon) / Health