FailBear920

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FailBear920

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12775
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FailBear920 : TYBG! I'm Based and I Love Lil B

FailBear920's page activity

Visits<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:57am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:44am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:31am<b>Balphleair</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:51am<b>luther48</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:41am<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:23am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:05pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:55am<b>Razor011</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:42pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:49am<b>SegaTortoise</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:01pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:59am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:50am<b>xXCODGODXx</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28pm<b>kkelly22</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:52am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:00am

Fucked!<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:05am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:39am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:30pm

FailBear920's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FailBear920's badges

FailBear920's favorite FMLs

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

by itwasmyfavoriteshirt / 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

by shastadoe / 08/06/2012 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML

by 420SUX / 08/04/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

by squeltorey / 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

by Goblin Girl / 08/01/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous