BeYourOwnPet

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BeYourOwnPet

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6404
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BeYourOwnPet's page activity

Visits<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:50pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:59pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:36am<b>saocrates</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:05pm<b>fistingeggplant</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:49am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:27pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:56am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:55pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:04am<b>angeloshaheen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:28am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:32pm<b>nerdtoninja</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:58pm<b>1lesslonelygurl</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:06pm

BeYourOwnPet's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of BeYourOwnPet's badges

BeYourOwnPet's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States / Kids

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

by ugh / 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

by kalamar5 / 05/25/2014 at 4:54pm / Norway (Ostfold) / Work

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous