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The all-time greatest FMLs

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 505

My body hates me

By Owie - 13/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 76

In the sticks

By I belong in the city!!!! - 26/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my family moved from a city to a house we inherited out in the middle of nowhere. It's horrible! There's wild animals everywhere, my dad says I have to help take care of the house now, it's a thirty minute ride to school, there's no sidewalks, and I hate it here! I want to go back! FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 637

Blackballed

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 09:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I broke down but couldn't call a tow truck driver because my now ex-fiancee cheated on me with multiple ones in our area. I threw it into neutral and pushed it off the road. I don't know what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 182

Smol bean

By Smol Cat - 28/12/2022 12:00

Today, my cat is five years-old and still looks like a very chunky kitten. I'd been worried for the past three or four years that something was wrong with her, because she wasn't growing to a normal size. It turns out that's literally her natural size, and she's perfectly healthy. I was stressing over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 956

First time… or not?

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 15:00

Today, I caught my 5 month-old baby stood up using the sofa to support herself. She can barely turn herself over and hasn’t crawled yet, but she was standing. Then she fell over before I could get a picture, and my husband thinks it’s impossible and that I’m just sleep deprived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 103

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 142

FML Video #2

By Louis - 03/03/2017 16:41 - France - Paris

Another wonderful FML video created by the not-so-wonderful Louis.

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 104

Eager beaver

By TiePrior988 - 24/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had my first job interview in ages. I went in early, but instead of anyone telling me, they waited for the manager to come and get mad at me because it was supposed to be an online interview. I apologized and we went ahead with the interview, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed. I don’t think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 81

Big data is coming for us all

By Anonymous - 12/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was reminded once again how isolated I am while processing data errors. I work with sealed records, and I can't ask anyone for help, or share a laugh at any of the ridiculous names I see. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 110

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 29/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 124

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 04/10/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 292

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 22:00

Today, my daughter learned a new phrase: “Sleep Paralysis Demon.” It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining, she sobbed for almost 15 minutes, and that's a very long time when the tears and screaming are constant and without a pause. The neighbours knocked on the door because they were worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 72

Budget cut

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 15:00

Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 91

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 84

By Albert Einstein - 25/04/2016 03:33 - Germany

Today, I couldn’t solve my 10 year-old daughter's math problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 87

Support coming your way

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 08:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, and everyday for the past year and a half, I've felt miserable. I took the decision to leave, not knowing that it would be hell. Now I'm stuck thinking it's good for my future, and too scared to leave. I hate it and hate everything and everyone in this place. I want to leave and I need the courage. The future terrifies me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 213

My life story

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 16:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 148

Flat on my ass

By Slipped - 05/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 113

Many moving parts

By AlmostCarjacked - 17/07/2025 09:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 310

Munchies

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 205

Monday monday

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 133

Bad time for jokes

By David04 - 15/10/2025 22:00

Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 94

I prefer my mysteries solved, thank you

By Pauly - 21/12/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the source of the "mystery whistling" I’ve been hearing in my house for days was my own nose. Apparently, I’ve got a built-in wind instrument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 149

Father material

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 07:30

Today, I did a pregnancy announcement with my boyfriend and our families. My boyfriend acted happy until we were driving home, then claimed I pressured him with witnesses, started to cry because he doesn’t want kids, and by the end was begging me to give it up for adoption. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 916

Not so glam now

By Fuck off - 10/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I shelled out the big bucks to stay at a luxurious glamping site in the mountains for some much-needed R&R. It was great… or would have been, were it not for the party animals in the other unit. Despite being fifty yards away, I could make out every word of the shit rap they blasted for 12 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 88

Grey sweater gang rise up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, my partner and I went over to my mum’s for dinner. She’s not a formal person, so he wore a black fleece sweater. It was a nice, relaxed evening, until we got home and I had to attack him with the lint roller for what felt like half an hour. Yes, my mom has cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 191

Downsizing

By Yaneris - 03/01/2023 18:00

Today, I was told that due to budget cuts, my employment will be terminated. I maxed out all my credit cards shopping and traveling for Christmas. I threw away the receipt for most of the items I’d bought. $7,200 in debt and unemployed, what a great way to start the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 1 998

Stiff competition

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 20:00

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 23 889

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 597

You deserved it 174 177

Random

Today, my best female friend sent me a nude to make sure it looked good before she sent it to the guy she likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 903

You deserved it 545

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 657

You deserved it 2 665

Today, it was my first day working for a real estate company. Just when I got into my car, my pants ripped from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants, a split that was three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 056

You deserved it 9 218

Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 369

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 376

Today, I got fired for following my work directions. I found out when I tried to badge into work, and paid $40 for a ride home. There also was an argument with my supervisors because I actually follow the directions correctly and knew what they meant. I'm temp to hire so there's no recourse for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 131