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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bumbling

By Jane - 19/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 259

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 103

Masochist

By Jess Garcia - 28/04/2021 17:01

Today, I sabotaged my marriage by putting the idea of an open relationship that I never wanted into my husband's head. Why the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 2 075

Chill out zone

By Gassy Patient - 06/06/2025 22:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 151

Spooked

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 97

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Midland

Today, I was feeling motivated enough to try longboarding again after a long stint of being a couch potato. Not even 10 minutes into cruising down the road, my board catches on a rock. Now I've got a sprained wrist and two inches of road rash on my right arm. So much for getting a little exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 189

You believed him??

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 249

Chocolate rain

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 03:00

Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 85

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 09/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I got a flat tire. While trying to change it, I dropped my phone down a storm drain. I had to hitchhike home, and the guy who picked me up told me he wasn't even sure I wasn't a serial killer. I told him I wasn't. He then said, "That's what a serial killer would say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 130

At one with nature

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Florence

Today, I woke up groggy as hell because my Rottie kept growling at something all night long. I went to get coffee in a daze and saw mouse shit floating in my brew. I cleaned up after the bastard mice, then stepped in coyote shit on my way to the newly dumped-over and shredded garbage cans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 219

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 153

Squatters' rights

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 16/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my garage and decided to put my motorcycle helmet on with the strap, to see if it still fits. A huge spider crawled down the inside of the helmet and I freaked out trying to get the strap off. I then tripped on my daughter’s scooter and dislocated my left pinky toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 187

Baby Shark goes on the road

By Katie - 12/11/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip. I spent a long while curating it, but when I hit the shuffle button, it started playing a bunch of annoying nursery rhymes. Apparently, I'd accidentally merged my list with my nephew's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 221

Out of control

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 73

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 87

Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 12:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 88

Social construct

By Fuck u - 19/02/2026 00:00

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 265

'tis the season!

By Bleh ;-; - 13/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I'm going on three weeks of unexplainable and minor, but noticeable ailments. The doctor says it's just my seasonal allergies acting up a ton, which was somewhat comforting, but it just won't stop, even when I remain indoors. I'm otherwise a very healthy person, so I think I have a reason to be worried now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 110

Brighten up

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 09:00

Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 78

Confusing guys and their bro code

By Men are weird - 23/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my son tried to fight my husband, his step-dad, who knocked him to the floor with one good punch. I was ready to throw my husband out, but an hour later they were having a heart-to-heart, and now they get along better than they ever have. HUH?!! FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 194

Body horror

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend. I was the little spoon. His hand moved to my chest (I'm less than an A-cup, but very full on my bottom half), and I playfully said, "No! Don’t touch my chest!" He replied, "Huh? I thought that was your rib cage!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 183

Bon appétit, boys

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 138

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 20:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 231

Repent!

By Gimmme - 11/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I thought I saw a $100 bill in the bushes. It was, in fact, just a cleverly folded pamphlet for some church or something. I spent 10 minutes digging through leaves for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 255

Impressed?

By anon - 27/01/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 136

Scary stuff

By Sam - 01/11/2025 09:00

Today, on Halloween, I received an award for my progress at my drug rehab clinic. I told my mom we should celebrate by going out to eat. Her response? "I got you a turkey sandwich from the hospital cafeteria." Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 138

All worn out

By Anonymous - 09/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Warren

Today, despite only being 39, I nearly threw my back out when I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 72

New depths

By Bruce - 23/01/2021 17:01 - United States - Falls Church

Today, my sump pump stopped working so I called a plumber to fix it. It took two seconds for him to simply plug it back in. Cost me $75 for the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 995

Drugs are bad, mkay?

By Taylor Tempest - 27/12/2021 16:59

Today, I learned that weed brownie plus weed gummies leads to me drooling… on my ex-husband’s cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 2 461

By anonymous - 21/06/2010 12:21 - France

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 53

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The Top

Random

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 708

You deserved it 3 691

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 1 851

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 876

You deserved it 3 903

Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 450

You deserved it 3 122

Today, my friend was complaining about how she did not like Mexican food. Confused, I asked her whether she had even had Mexican food, to which she replied, “Yeah, I mean I’ve had Taco Bell.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 271

Today, I had to explain to yet another HR manager that no, my bruises, scratches, and scars do not mean I’m lying about being in an abusive marriage, it just means I’m a Muay Thai fighter who owns a cat who is a moody, scratchy little bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 145