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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bad first impression

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I got stung by a wasp a few hours before work. On my boob. I was in pain, so I took a bunch of Benadryl and wound up falling asleep. I woke up to my very sweet manager calling to see if I was dead. Oh, and to tell me that I'm getting a new manager. Who was trying to set up a meet and great with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 89

Sticky

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 166

Trapped

By FamilyIsTheBest - 11/03/2026 20:00

Today, I am forced to throw a baby shower for my entitled and witch of a sister in law. She and her husband have been making my life living hell for more than 10 years now. What their hellspawn would do, God only knows. No, I can't walk away. It's a cultural thing. I'm trapped until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 143

DELETE! ABORT MISSION!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 12:00

Today, I made a TikTok video in which you could clearly but accidentally see my nipples through my shirt. You can imagine some of the comments I've started getting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 1 183

Bad mindset

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 2 330

Thanks for nothing

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was surprised to see a little extra cash in my account for no reason. Confused, (and a little concerned about fraud) I called customer service. Turns out my dad had accidentally used the wrong routing number and put the money in the wrong account. So much for that extra $35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 130

Tailored

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 109

Treat Yourself Day (derogatory)

By mindy - 24/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 118

I could've been the main character…

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after switching careers to nursing, I got feedback for my first assessment. It indirectly implied, "Don't think like a doctor when you're studying nursing, don't diagnose patients." I barely passed and I'm only now realizing why my family was pushing me to go to med school. They know me better than myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 693

Lasting first impression

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 131

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 672

Dying inside

By Deedee - 13/01/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I confidently walked into a coffee shop, ordered a cappuccino, and went to sit down. On my way over to read my book at a table, I knocked over a stack of chairs by tripping on a rug. The worst part? I had to sit there, sipping my drink, and reading the same sentence over and over again, while everyone watched me slowly die inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 171

Words which could only be your own

By kickout - 11/07/2021 19:59

Today, after I'd being sick all day, my boyfriend volunteered to do my very long sociology paper. I was later notified by my professor that the paper I'd submitted was completely plagiarized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 2 238

No more!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 154

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 16:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 840

Main character syndrome

By What girl gets wet for Nickelback? - 18/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I started playing the piano at a party. I've been playing for 15 years, so naturally I'm pretty good. I got halfway through a song before getting shown up by some douche who started playing Nickelback on the guitar. Fucking Nickelback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 313

Late bloomer

By T_T - 15/05/2026 09:00 - India - Kanakapura

Today, a sixth grader complained to me about her emotionally cheating ex and her current boyfriend. I haven't had a single partner yet. A 12 year-old has a VERY EXISTENT and better love life than I do. When I said this to her she said "Well, at least your parents love you." They didn't. I need therapy. And a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 105

By Jobdubai - 28/03/2013 02:41 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I didn't see the point of going, so I left discreetly. I “discreetly” missed the surprise party that my colleagues had organized for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 961

I'm confused

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 20:00 - South Korea - Hwaseong-si

Today, after I recently started working in Korean company, my manager said, "Speak Korean, this is Korea." I started communicating in Korean for a few days, but then my manager says : "Why you talk to me in Korean ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 68

Squeak day

By Nathalie - 30/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work. They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor. People thought it was funny at first, but then I had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going "squeak, squeak, squeak" for 45 seconds straight. By the time I got back, my nickname was now apparently “Squeaker of the house.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 102

Flailing

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly and ride my bike to work for the first time. I made it approximately three minutes before getting my shoelace caught in the gears, sending me crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of uncoordination. Now I have a sprained ankle and a newfound appreciation for cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 337

I don't know what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was supposed to have an important work video call with several members of management. However, when I logged onto the call, I realized that I had a cat filter on my feed and couldn't figure out how to turn it off. The lead manager was not amused and said I was having a "Boomer moment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 668

How could you?

By Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00

Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 89

Fixing a hole

By NOT THE BEES - 15/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 219

Hiding

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned just how disgusted I am by my own body, when I was debating whether or not I should wear a baggy hoodie in 92 degree Fahrenheit weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 168

I don't wanna go

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 60

Stretched out

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 12:00 - Germany - Heidenau

Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 356

You gotta fight, for your right…

By PinkPonyGirl - 06/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I posted a status how women deserve the right to be sexually liberated and that modesty is unnecessary. Some dick felt the need to comment, “Have you looked in the mirror? In your case modesty would be an act of mercy.” Another commented, “Yeah bro, I bet they’d pay her to keep her clothes on in strip clubs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 571

Marked

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 03:00

Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 122

Get me the hell out of here

By Anonymous - 03/11/2025 12:00

Today, I live somewhere with cold weather half the year, I'm pale, and I have anemia. I have a recessive blood disorder which makes my anemia worse. I'm stuck in this city because I can't live on my own, so I'm dependent on my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 93

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 888

You deserved it 2 669

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 474

You deserved it 404 442

Random

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 486

You deserved it 2 556

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 828

You deserved it 3 128

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 925

You deserved it 7 212

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 152

Today, we received the answer to a report we filed against a calculus teacher from our high school, who was sexually harassing several girls from our group, most of them still underage. They won't sack him because he's a tenure teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 134

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 774