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By aw-wtf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 396

You deserved it 3 900

Quit it

By hatethatiloveyou - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 143

You deserved it 15 014

Wine about it

By ojskyguy - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Pearl

Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 559

You deserved it 9 096

Road rage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 34 368

So, thanks for having me

By kernelkat - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 027

You deserved it 2 725

Heatwave

By PeepShow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 477

You deserved it 47 341

Hey good lookin'

By brenami - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 7 863

Excavation time

By yankesik - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 543

You deserved it 1 886

Stay classy

By chattyloz - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 942

You deserved it 40 189

Nice try

By fyourlife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 902

You deserved it 37 249

Just checking

By whytoday - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 151

You deserved it 45 516

Party time!

By LegallyBored - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Regina

Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 194

You deserved it 731

Can't win

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my supervisor told me off for doing something. When I reminded her that she told me to do it, she yelled at me for correcting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 206

Invaded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I put solar lights in my yard to finally figure out what my dog has been chasing over the fence at night. It's rats. She's been chasing rats that have invaded my backyard every night for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 198

Sounds like a catch

By Tina - 23/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was wedding dress shopping. My fiance is only paying for the dress if I buy a size 10 or under. I’m currently a size 18. Apparently, this will give me “incentive to get in shape for the wedding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 186

Bad dads

By Fthisjob111 - 22/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waitressing. Two of the patrons, who were fathers, insisted on having their food taken off the bill because it’s Father’s Day and “ChatGPT said” they can get free food. We refused and said there’s no such thing. When I collected the check, I saw they wrote “fat bitch” on the tip line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 62

They're all out to get me

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 63

Don't neglect yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 83

The audacity!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, my boyfriend had been distant for a while, didn't turn up for my birthday dinner, and gave no explanation. Turns out he was on a date that same afternoon. Two days later he announced his new "relationship" all over Facebook. When he saw I'd blocked him everywhere, he sent a "I miss you" text. Never seen anyone so audacious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 72

Post-truth world

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I caught my dad cheating on my stepmom with a man, and I took pictures. She dismissed them as AI-generated and accused me of trying to break them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 85

Kinda weird

By ButWhy - 21/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 76

Happy Father's Day

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 112

Red tape

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after spending 40 minutes on the phone with an IRS agent to change my address, and after she asked me how to spell Reno, then she put Reno as a state. and Nevada as a city. She’s not able to help me because my address does not exist and now I have to send in the paper form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 56

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

By Lisa - 22/06/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 65

Clifford lives

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was transferring video from my camera to my laptop so I could start editing my film project. My wife’s badly behaved dog decided to barrel through my office, knocking everything over. Screen shattered, camera broken, video files corrupted due to the cable coming out mid-transfer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 94

Meddling

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I received a letter from the doctor's office saying that I'd missed an appointment and could be dropped as a patient if I missed another. My mom scheduled the appointment for me without my knowledge, and never told me that I had one. I also can't make it to any appointments right now, because my car broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 67

Mean girls

By Brahman punjabi - 26/06/2026 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 101

I can fix him

By John - 26/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 65

Never gonna happen

By Fuck the rich - 23/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my dad explained to me that it's actually a "good thing" that we have a trillionaire in America now, because he builds rockets, and those are cool or something. WEALTH. TAX. NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 274

Is your dad called Jordan?

By emily - 22/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my dad insists I have to deep clean my bathroom multiple times a day, because in his words: “Once a day just isn’t cutting it.” I have depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 94

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The Top

Today, my best female friend sent me a nude to make sure it looked good before she sent it to the guy she likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 545

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 325

You deserved it 4 526

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 2 583

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 441

You deserved it 1 680

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 6 445

Today, I overheard the girl I like tell her friends about me, “I like his personality a lot, it would be so sexy if he was taller. He’s adorable though.” I’m just below average height for a man. I wouldn’t even consider myself super short. I hate being 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 105