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So a follow up. Once my head felt better I did buy her a new one. I do see a few asking what I did to deserve this. She's only three and didn't realize there would be any consequences, only thinking it would be funny. The only thing I can think of doing to even possibly deserve it is I told her she needed to stop running around yelling. But nah, all's well now I guess

By jameen - 07/05/2016 11:48 - United Kingdom - Newbury

Today, a woman rear-ended my car. She's trying to sue me for 'emotional damage'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 775

You deserved it 1 033

By ImNotFat - 18/02/2015 04:22 - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 3 290

By Xav_Cad - 11/01/2009 11:14 - France

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so gave it a go to see what it smelled like. It's currently the peak season, and so I had quite a few clients in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 103

You deserved it 23 347

Lawyer up

By gnofin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 956

You deserved it 3 185

Freudian

By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 4 666

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:06 - United States - Ventura

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 243

You deserved it 3 170

By mylifesucks22 - 29/12/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 584

You deserved it 32 237

By chocolateninja22 - 16/12/2015 16:42 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 216

You deserved it 2 021

chocolateninja22 tells us more.

chocolateninja22 9

Saturday 19 December 2015 18:23

OP here - I'd like to say it's funny how the first ever fml I posted got here, but anyway. As a point of clarification, the grocery store I work in is kind of like a Walmart, but more centered around food with a bit of clothes and shit like that. Basically the store is ******* huge. It's not unlikely to be able to walk the store and not see another employee on the floor who would be able to help. And what she needed was on the opposite side of the store to the bathroom. Yeah....luckily I only told my manager and she let me go home and clocked me out so I could just ditch. I haven't gotten any looks from coworkers so I may be in the clear