The Top

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Trippin'

By tammyg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 624

You deserved it 6 338

Love is…

By manderz? - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 1 136

Don't give up

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't think our marriage was going to survive our stillbirth, and that we should get divorced. He said, "No way. We're going to marriage and grief counseling and not giving up on our marriage." He just doesn't understand that I blame myself so much and want to set him free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 194

Mother's Day is sacred

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to a note from my wife, saying that since I spent Father's Day golfing, she booked herself a spa day, so I could take care of our 4 kids and the house like she does every day. She ignored every single one of my calls and didn't even tell me what spa she went to. What mother does that to her family? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 677

Consolation Prize

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 25

At this point, it's an addiction

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that she never wants to see me again because my family and I did not attend her wedding, which she wanted my youngest to be a flower girl to. I refused because this is her eighth marriage (that's right, 8) and she never learns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 55

Wonky birthday!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, halfway through assembling a toy kitchen for a birthday, I realized the instructions made no sense and half the screws looked identical. I still somehow finished it and felt triumphant until the kid opened the oven door, the whole thing tipped sideways, and I had to spend the rest of the party holding it together with one hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 202

Genius, huh?

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 12:00 - Australia

Today, after pulling an all-nighter on an essay, I submitted it one minute before the deadline and felt like a genius. Later, I reopened the file and discovered I'd uploaded the rough draft instead of the final version. The last line ended with “fix this later,” which was not my finest academic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 139

Benefits

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 20:00 - Poland

Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Shopping AITA Awkward Work Make up Money Liar Weird Kids Love Anniversary Health Confused Healthy Lifestyle Neighbours Miscellaneous Noise Parents Friends NSFW Sex Intimacy Relatable School Education Embarrassing Birthday Clumsy Weddings LGBTQIA+

The Top

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 880

You deserved it 59 084

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 278

You deserved it 65 709

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 745

You deserved it 7 988

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 972

You deserved it 3 974

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 342

You deserved it 6 328

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 101

You deserved it 4 237