I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
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Today, I had to place under the carpet another patch of 1/4" plywood over another broken spot in the hardwood floor. My not-so-flatmate refuses to anything about her morbid obesity, and will definitely cost us our deposit when the landlady finds out. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML
Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
I’d be complaining about the weak flooring rather than your big flatmate. A person would have to be verrry heavy to literally break good flooring just by walking on it
RichardPencil 30
A damage deposit only covers minor damage. A landlord could sue you for the major damages you cause. Get some hidden camera video of your fatmate breaking floorboards so you can throw her under the bus during your trial.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 30
A damage deposit only covers minor damage. A landlord could sue you for the major damages you cause. Get some hidden camera video of your fatmate breaking floorboards so you can throw her under the bus during your trial.
kfchicken 31
I feel like the floor literally breaking under you would be ground to sue your landlord not the other way around. floors are meant to support grown men
wysegirl 24
They can still only withstand certain weight limits. No clue in the weight here but renters insurance will at least give some relief.
ojoRojo 27
I’d be complaining about the weak flooring rather than your big flatmate. A person would have to be verrry heavy to literally break good flooring just by walking on it
IHaveThePower 16
If your flooring can't support one fat person, what's it supposed to do if you have guests over? Your flooring is the problem, not your roommate--the floor should be able to hold all sorts of things, including a fat human. Get the landlord involved, because someone did a shit job setting your floors up.
Brightside86 30
I'd never expect to get a deposit back. Landlords are professionals in finding says to make sure you never do.
wysegirl 24
I hope you have renters insurance. if not get it.
SamanthaThe1st 22
Your roommate would have to be a literal elephant to do that. That's shitty architecture no matter how you slice it.