Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 15:42

Today, whilst babysitting my neighbour's five-year-old son, he called me a "fucking dumbass". Why? I called the jackal on The Lion Guard a coyote. Both my boyfriend and my brother agreed with the kid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 26

By ImNotAThot - 19/01/2020 11:51

Today, I recieved a message from a cute nice boy living near me. I was crushing on him before. He asked me for a picture of my ass and body, saying that he heard I am a hoe... I haven’t had sex for almost a year and spend most of my time at home doing school stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 01:04

I fot my dream date with this girl and we went bback to her place for sex but as I went back to her room but I was ambushed by 5 men and violently taken from behind with my head pushed into a pillow so I can't scream. My date recorded everything and put it all over social media.

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 13

By fladoodler - 18/01/2020 23:02

Today, I came home from work after a fight with my boyfriend. I went into my room and saw that he cut up a majority of my scrunchies, vandalized a painting my friend painted for me, drew all over my journals, and ripped apart my school notebooks. I don’t even know why he’s so mad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 3

By bisexual - 18/01/2020 19:23

today i was in class and my teacher sent me to get something out of the supply closet and i didn't hear her so she said to me `you're supposed to be in the closet' and i accidentally said 'i actually already am' no one knew i was bisexual but now the whole class knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 12

By Vidkun - 18/01/2020 10:02

Today...I was attempting to throw away the paper top of my yogurt cup into the trash, missed, and it fell, goopy side down onto the floor...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 38

By Anonymous - 18/01/2020 01:47 - United States - Cranford

Today, I went to the supermarket at night so that there was less people, and I could use the self checkout. The person running the self checkout thought I was ‘special’, so he scanned all my items for me, and showed me how to pay. In front of many people. I already knew how to use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 16:06 - United States - Lone Jack

Today I slept with my girlfriend for the first time, when I woke up my pants were off and she was gone.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 10

Unsatisfactory result

By John Doe - 17/01/2020 14:00

Today, I shaved my penis at the request at my girlfriend. She said that it still looked small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 22

By ihavenolife999 - 17/01/2020 08:38

So my mother and I had put the television up on the wall today and later tonight we were sitting down watching Netflix together till the television fell out of the wall and the whole wall collapsed so now I’m missing a wall as well as a television ?

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 06:00

Today, i hungout with a guy im really interested in. while talking to my family on the phone, catching them up on my life, i told them about him. his last named sounded familliar but i never thought anything of it.... hes my distant cousin... FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 05:57

Today, the guy i've been talking to (for months) wanted to hangout. i invited my best friend as she works with me and we had some work to do. both of them were completely fine with it. i got distracted by a message on my phone and when i looked up they were making out... FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 24

By "Les-Human678" - 17/01/2020 02:34

Today, me and gf where talking over Vc. And my dog decided it would be great to come over and sit right on my paperwork beside me that I need for work. He's only a puppy, he doesn't know what he's doing but didn't he go and piss all over it. I now have to try and work it all out b4 work at 8am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 26

By Trent - 16/01/2020 08:34

Today my boyfriend was giving me a blowjob in the living room when my mother came barging into my flat so fast he pulled back and his teeth scraped a strip of skin right off the head of my knob. So I came out as gay to my mother while nude using towels to try stop my knob bleeding me to death FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 29

By suckssmh - 16/01/2020 01:29 - United States - Stamford

Today... my boyfriends mother, booked a trip for him, her, his brother and a family friend for Valentine’s Day. I had something really special planned for our 4th Valentine’s Day together and cannot get a refund... FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 6

By "Ummmm" - 16/01/2020 00:54

I caught my best friend sleeping with my fiance. She was getting married to his best friend. So we decided to get payback and sleep with each other. We had a plan so me and his would marry each other instead. When we get up to the isle. My best friend played our sex tape in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 85

By Wogo - 15/01/2020 06:20

Today, my boyfriend literally just left my house to go 2 hours home because I didn’t break out into song with him. He literally got so mad at me and left my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 15

By crushedgal - 15/01/2020 00:51

Today, I came home from work early to surprise my fiancé. Much to my surprise, he was in our bed with his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 14/01/2020 21:05

Today, I came in about 6am from work after a nightshift. I had my hood up as I got soaked from the rain walking home. As I went to get food from the cupboard, I felt a sharp pain between my legs. My sister had kicked me in the balls, thinking I was breaking in. She said it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 21

By Anonymous - 14/01/2020 20:45

Today, I woke up to find my sister had painted my toe nails pink. I went to get my own back later on but suddenly I felt a sharp between my legs. She kicked me in the balls from behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 14

By "Michelle Lisa Hall" - 14/01/2020 17:15

Someone went down on me after eating chilli and absolutely burnt my insides.

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 14/01/2020 08:33

Today I tried to photograph some important exam info in class but my phone went off with the flash on just in time to catch a classmate bent over with her thong showing It was a complete accident but the university dean suspended me until he can decide if i should also be expelled FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 22

By "Michael Royal Pedro" - 14/01/2020 05:59

Today, I found out why my wife wants her privacy but doesn't want me to have my own privacy. It's so she can flirt with other guys.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 13/01/2020 20:30

Today, I sneezed, and felt pieces of something hard in my mouth. Worried one of my teeth had blown apart, I spit them out. No, it was just hard green chunks from my sinuses due to the cold I've had for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 6

By eff - 13/01/2020 11:39 - United States - Valley Cottage

Well today I got hit with the belt because my little sister drew on the walls. When I asked why I was gettin hit she replied “It looks like u drew it and I don’t think she knows how to write curse words yet.” Fml

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By eff - 13/01/2020 17:36

Today I had just finished my masterpiece art work. I worked on it for a week and a half. I went to go get a drink and my little step sister was in my room. I yell at her to get out and she spills the coffee I had set on the table all over it. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 12

By Today, I tried to compliment my classmate by saying “You look good in that, how come you have such low self esteem”Guess what, I spoke something wrong again and offended my classmate even though I was trying to compliment her! I really need to filter my w - 12/01/2020 12:05

Today, I tried to compliment my classmate by saying “You look good in that, how come you have such low self esteem”Guess what, I spoke something wrong again and offended my classmate even though I was trying to compliment her! I really need to filter my words before saying something wrong again, fml

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 81