Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Self own
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
I hate this job
Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML
Show off
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
STOP!
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Top comments
gc327072 30
No cafe?! Next you're gonna say that polar bears don't actually hand out Cokes. LIES!
nela25 23
I guess he really wanted an iced coffee.
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Comments (93)
teffyweffy 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No faith in humanity
\ 28
Have to admit though: a café atop a glacier would be damn cool.
Fa11en_Leafs 7
Get it? "Cool"?
Dodge4x4Ram 46
oh I got it,, thanks for that
JaegerMayCry 13
Yes while some people may find the whole situation hilarious, if the glacier is big enough that they require guides, then we can assume that the glacier is of a considerable size. Being pushed off one of those glaciers is not only rude but also quite dangerous, even fatal! OP could have been killed. FYL OP
Shootermtd25 7
If u have to explain ur joke It's not funny
vipirius 18
If you can't spell 'you', you shouldn't comment.
Robbieisadowg 16
#62 it wasn't the original commentator who explained it, it was someone else who did.
lVluse 15
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." ~Ghandi
KoveGames 5
Are you... special?
nela25 23
I guess he really wanted an iced coffee.
dgdude101 5
Haha. Pun.
ArticFlare 12
Punny
gc327072 30
No cafe?! Next you're gonna say that polar bears don't actually hand out Cokes. LIES!
yourmurderscenex 13
they do! that's why they don't have a cafe.
DanielleinDC 33
Nope, the polar bears keep them all for themselves.
\ 28
Polar bears kill more people each year than regular bears... They must be guarding the Coke, that's why!
onealmxwilson 18
This is why I dislike tourists.
IworkAt711 14
Do you dislike yourself while on vacation? But really, I doubt you've been in a situation where a tourist pushed you off a glacier that led to your disliking of them.
yourmurderscenex 13
It's only okay when he is on vacation.
onealmxwilson 18
Let me clarify. I mean ignorant tourists who are oblivious to anything that goes on and know nothing about the place they are visiting. The kind that visit a place because they think it's cool and have done absolutely no research on the place
WhisperSoflty 20
But, 30, isn't that part of the point of tourism? To teach people about a place that they've never been before? Every tourist attraction I've been to has been very educational about not only the attraction itself, but the area around it and the culture of the city/town/country it's in.
alycion 38
There is a definite difference between vacationers and tourons. I've lived in a vacation destination most of my life. Vacationers are there to relax and have a good time. They are usually polite and don't cause too much of a headache. Tourons, are the morons who think the entire town should stop and bow down to them because they are there spending their money. They are rude and cause lots of problems. People need to understand that when they are on vacation, people reside there year round and are just trying to live their day to day lives. They don't need shoved off of a glacier because something on a touron's vacation wasn't just how they imagined it would be.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
HAHA reminds me of this californian lady visiting aus. I was waiting for my brekky (breakfast) at a servo (truck stop) she ordered after me and started bombarding me with questions about my pay and the average wages here. Then she told me everything we do here is weird. I just smiled and said okey doke. She then went on to berate the person making the food saying she was taking to long... Anyways I know that dosent reflect on all Americans though most of you guys are blokes I would not mind having a stubby (beer) with.
jmcr 27
As an american i have to say i cant blame you given the ppl that are voted into office certainly doesnt help us much especially when we pat ourselves on the back for our stupiditi
onealmxwilson 18
Yes, 47, but I also do some background research before traveling to a new place to get an idea of what I'm getting into instead of being clueless and looking stupid.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Tourists are good for the economy. They go to places and spend their money.
tounces7 27
Tourists can also be destructive to the environment though.... Just look at those boy scout leaders in the recent news. Rock stood for 140 million years, but could not resist the weight of stupidity.
Artures_way1 23
This is why I dislike humans!
Sinamoi 18
That's fine. She just won't get any hot chocolate later on.
Allennis44 16
What the hell is ON a glacier anyway that needs guiding to.
blackman100 20
Giggity...
frizz101 22
Glaciers are large pieces of ice that formed during ice ages, that contain rocks, vegetation and in some cases whole animals, and the movement of glaciers causes land formations such as lakes and valleys. And if someone goes on a glacier without a guide they risk falling into crevices or walking off the edge that could prove fatal if the glacier is big enough. And if you have never walked on a glacier it is a rather magnificent sight and feeling, your walking on something that has been around since the last ice age, and you get to see what they did to the landscape in the past while at the same time get to see what they might do in the future long after we pass, as long as global warming doesn't destroy them first.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Coffee on a glacier would be nice but not a sufficient reason to push someone off of one. Sorry OP
Nyx_fml 23
And people say there's a Starbucks everywhere...
SweetJTBR 22
There's not a single one in this country.
Nyx_fml 23
How awful! Then where do all the hipsters go get their pumpkin spice latte? D: Do they at least have jokes there?
SweetJTBR 22
They go to the awful McCafé. As for jokes... Well... They're not the best. ;~;
epierce13 8
Next time just break some ice off and put it in a cup and say magic ice coffee
AH1Zviper 15
I don't think that tourist was having a very ice day.
Redoxx_fml 22
Are you ok or do you look like Quasimodo now?