Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my manager cussed me out for being unable to keep a customer happy. That "customer" was a senile old twit who had wandered away from his carer, thought our shop was his living room, and demanded to know who replaced all his furniture. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
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Top comments
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
So many douchebag/stupid boss-related FML's lately... how do those kind of people even get that position?
etishuman22 32
Maybe you could tell him you're just trying to make the best of things? You know...whistling while you work? I'm sorry I immediately thought of the old Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" when I read this post.
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Comments (44)
K410 18
Lol it's like that movie the out of towners. But sorry that your boss is a dick hope your next job pays more.
imonkeyface 9
It never said he got fired or quit.
K410 18
Well not like she's gonna be there for life I'm just wishing her next job is gonna be much better
K410 18
So I'm getting disliked because I'm wishing op better luck in the future? Lol something is wrong with you people...
dawnimus 21
Calm down, get buried, move on. There's more to life than being thumbed up.
klovemachine 24
Your boss is a loser :-)
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Really?
ariiewilliams 17
More like unreasonable about other peoples' problem.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
So many douchebag/stupid boss-related FML's lately... how do those kind of people even get that position?
magicman37 8
Must be pretty creepy for the customers
etishuman22 32
Maybe you could tell him you're just trying to make the best of things? You know...whistling while you work? I'm sorry I immediately thought of the old Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" when I read this post.
HeartOfLead 24
If OP is a vet, that would explain why the animals are always at attention...
hetalia_thailand 20
I like the image of all the animals in the pet clinic suddenly jumping up and paying attention when OP speaks
ty7in_topic 31
Your username says it all OP.
UnluckyGenius 21
Your boss just doesn't appreciate mouth breathers is all.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
I know. Mouth breathers are people too and need jobs. I would report him for discrimination OP. thats so unfair to all mouth breathers everywhere! Lol
UnluckyGenius 21
To be honest I agree with his boss, I know this girl. Let's say her name is Sandra, always needs a special helmet when we go do something because she breathes through her mouth. No helmet = plans cancelled. So inconvenient.
olpally 32
Nice username. Lol. Explain why you do that. What a judgmental twat.
Jellybean22 14
Get a better job so you can get it fixed?