Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
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Top comments
oicu812xD 16
At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up
JoeGrant 12
It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!
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Comments (82)
JoeGrant 12
It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!
LeFrogDog 27
sounds like a wet dream
jessBeAqueen 13
no sounds like a great opportunity for a worldstar video!
NakedandScared 8
Well you don't seem very nice.
Crometer 23
That's what I was thinking, unless he works with a bunch of rude people.
oicu812xD 16
At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up
cottoncandymango 17
Sleeping on the job, eh?
retyi43 14
sleeping AND wet-dreaming on the job...
salazara 10
You're Fired
deepunder 17
U know what to do. Go back to sleep
anon80214 15
You won't be living that one down anytime soon. FYL
Uramonkey 11
Maybe you should put your mind and your sleep elsewhere when you are at work...
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Where would you put 'sleep'?
arsenicalhumor 30
I put it in the fridge to keep it nice and cool.
lbrown66 12
Who puts sleep in the fridge? It goes hard, you need to keep it in the cupboard!
clemsi 20
to hell with both of those suggestions....I put mine in the freezer so I can save it to pass the winner months quickly
Kelsey_709 9
He said "break room", so OP was probably just napping on his break. Doesn't mean he was slacking.
peterubino 2
Was ur **** outta ur pants
Uramonkey 11
Lets just hope he didn't have a wet dream and woke up with sticky pants. His coworkers wouldn't let him live that one down for sure ;)
darwinism 30
Sounds like yours was during English class # 5
Uramonkey 11
Seems like wet dreams are too taboo for FML with all these comments being thumbed down. It's ok girls, they are only natural ;)
ygdrassil 17
Nothing is too taboo for FML.
BlueFlatts 20
Taboo list: •Bad English •Bad jokes •Bad puns •Pointless comments. Correct?
drewflav 17
49 - you're missing one more on your list. Thumbing down DocBastard.
iAlissa 34
Dreams make reality suck.
deepunder 17
Like the one where I was driving a car during an apocalypse. Loved the dream since I was driving a car before I got a permit.
GAeroNKissR 26
not if you make your dreams reality...
HortonThelephant 15
Hopefully your pillow talk was at least good enough to pique the attention of a lady coworker or two ;)
HortonThelephant 15
Strike my previous comment if you'd please. I can just envision it going something like: "Hey there girl. I brought the spicy chorizo to kick up your night" or something equally terrible...
WhoopWhoop321 18
Who cooks with just an apron on?? ;)
thewife5 19
Woman who want laid the minute their man walks in the door. Cooking + nudity = almost every mans fantasy.
pilotjones 6
he's absolutely right
RedPillSucks 31
only better if they're cooking bacon.
BlueFlatts 20
Why is it always bacon?
Tiagoroth 10
Because bacon is the best sustenance on Earth.
bazoo42 25
Never cook bacon while naked. The hot grease spatters everywhere you don't want it...
Wizardo 33
This is why I'm a Wizard and no, I'm not dreaming - you can't wake me up! :'(