Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML
Today, whilst doing training as a mental health nurse, our glorified pineapple of a lecturer told us that trying to stop patients wanting to commit suicide isn't a possibility. So, what the hell are we training for? FML
Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
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Top comments
HowAreYouToday 34
The koala army wants *you*
akiahara 14
She's clearly a very balanced individual, perfectly suited for motivational speaking..
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Comments (107)
HowAreYouToday 34
The koala army wants *you*
ydi_4_suking 20
OP isn't koala-fied enough to join the army
TrueTriage 16
The flag should be a eucalyptus leaf
Reaper1984 13
Be koala you can be or a koala of one
klaralynn 17
at least you don't have to worry about guns.. just animals that could possibley tear your face off..
tjv3 10
Are you sure they were really the guest and not someone playing a prank
klaralynn 17
possibly* and ok well obliously i don't believe in equal rights
enormouselephant 15
104- *obviously :)
klaralynn 17
thanks. i hate this phone.
akiahara 14
She's clearly a very balanced individual, perfectly suited for motivational speaking..
Bakarra 22
She's on the grass, that's for sure...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
She sounds absolutely menthol-eucalyptus!
mattlw 25
Or perfectly suited to wear a straight jacket, and reside in a padded cell.
zandalee 20
77- go home your not funny
KingCeltic77 18
She's not crazy, she's mentally guilty.
KingCeltic77 18
*goofy auto correct has been killing me lately
mirthfulMessiahs 21
What kind of a lecture is that? I wanna cry at the thought of it.
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
At least you care for the Koalas
ilovedinosawers 17
You are fit for the koala army. Here's your badge.
mirthfulMessiahs 21
Koala's are so adorable! Why would anyone want to imagine thousands of them dead?
karlcolt45 19
Fight the power!
Blahshabadada 10
KOALA ARMY 4 LYF !!!
HowieDoIt 21
I didn't choose the koala life...
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
The koala life chose me.
Blahshabadada 10
They do like dem apples.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
All day. Everyday. #koala
gc327072 31
"kawaii as ****" is now "koala as ****"
perdix 31
The uniforms are sooooooooo cute, but you get paid in eucalyptus leaves. So, no, thank you.
Shenanigans9 8
I don't op had the necessary koalafications for the job anyway.
Pleonasm 36
#Koala2012 Just wait til she's has a naked meltdown on a San Diego Street corner, tarnishing the name of her group.
Bakarra 22
Sheeeeees jackinit jackinit jackedy jack, smackedy smackedy smackedy smack...
Bakarra 22
Excuse me I butchered that 2nd part "spankin it jackin it spankedysmack" I apologize
ollie179 21
Is this just a trick to make you sign up for the North Korean army?
NurseJonathan 9
I don't know. Imagining 25,000 dead North Koreans doesn't affect me that much. Anyway, was this like a PETA meeting or something?
xkncas 8
Weird ass professor...
NurseJonathan 9
There are ass professors? Where do I sign up?
EvilUndead 9
@11, Umm.. proctology?
NurseJonathan 9
There's proctology professors? In college? Never heard of a class for it.
fuzz97 23
not the professor. it was a guest speaker
HowieDoIt 21
Koala story, bro. Who exactly is this army supposed to be fighting, by the way?
NurseJonathan 9
Sloths. There is only room for one awesome tree climbing animal. However the war has been going slow, D-day started a year ago, but the sloth invasion has just barely launched from the beaches and going to Australia.