Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
420 BLAZE IT BRO!!!
Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML
Where is it?
Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Midlife crisis
Today, I had to inform my midlife-crisis husband that the "weed" he had "scored" from his "dealer down the pub" was actually just a lot of mixed herbs. He refused to believe me and smoked it anyway, I mean, I'm only a chef in a restaurant, what do I know about herbs? He's still coughing by the way. FML
Top comments
grumpybr 13
If you had to have your patient teach you how to do your job, maybe this is not the right field for you.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, that kind of thing happens to everyone... Although I would be slightly worried if I was your patient.
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Comments (120)
boating_guy 33
Sounds to me like he has....
teareb 9
1- Read OPs name
teareb 9
Also just because he made a mistake doesn't mean he is on drugs.
MrBrightside21 20
We shouldn't assume such things so quickly. Just because the doctor made a mistake doesn't mean he's on drugs. Does making Donald Duck noises during sex make me crazy? I think not.
colliebuddz420 7
He's talking about the one who accused him... Not the op
InfamousLastWord 9
#19 It's highly unlikely the actual doctor was taking the blood pressure. It's much more common that a medical/patient/lab assistant or tech was doing it as a pre-exam. And while you're correct that assumptions shouldn't be made it was obviously inexperience, is that the kind of person you want handling you're medical history?
gummybear904 10
"Nah I just poke smot."
garrett1999o3 16
It was an honest mistake #38.We all make it now then.Like how in Science class I asked what the heart does beside pumping and "humping" :I
boating_guy 33
^ To clarify here, the "he" was referring to the guy who made the reefer comment, not OP (I would have said OP!). And I was pretty much joking anyway. So everyone just chill out a bit haha
InfamousLastWord 9
#46 Agreed, in any profession this is true. I work on the medical field so I understand the mistake. I didn't mean inexperienced in a derogatory way, I meant as in eventually it's like muscle memory and comes naturally. And about handling the medical history I was referring to why the patient probably made the comment, not my personal belief about OP's abilities...I apologize guys for not clarifying, when I reread it I realized how negative it sounded, and that was not my intention. As you said honest mistake.
Devilpuppy0861 7
Infamous, it's not just muscle memory man. Sometimes that shit just gets rotated and it takes you a minute to catch it. Hell, most if the time I forget it even has two sides.
klimpomppp 9
46-wait, what?
AKGirlinSD 20
Thank you, 14! I have nurses at my home, multiple times a week and I have to go to the hospital 3 to 4 days out of the week. Nurses are going to make mistakes here and there. OP's patient sounds like a prick!
billyw02 5
Ah, you must be the guy I just recently read about. I was crying when I read that.
grumpybr 13
If you had to have your patient teach you how to do your job, maybe this is not the right field for you.
MWidderAUDI 14
so you've never made a mistake while you were working?
RedPillSucks 31
That was kind of an obvious mistake. Like reading building plans upside down
spaboolly 26
24- There are some fields in which making a single mistake can have such drastic consequences that it should be unacceptable, human error or not. Medicine probably tops the list.
BellaBelle_fml 23
It's true, everybody makes mistakes. Even in the health care industry people make mistakes. However, when working in the medical field the margin for error is substantially lower as you are dealing with people's lives. Even though OP's mistake was a minor one and didn't cause any harm to the patient, it was still a very elementary mistake that I would expect someone who has had training would not make. Taking vitals signs are the most basic of skills in health care and is one of the first things we were taught.
SonicRainboom 3
I take it none of the people commenting here have used a stethoscope before. There is no way of telling if it is the right way around until you actually listen through it.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I have used a stethoscope many times. First as a nursing assistant and then as a licensed nurse. It is not difficult to tell which is the correct side and which isn't. Again, it is one of the most basic of skills and is among the first skills that are taught during training.
AbstraktThoughts 13
41: You're partially right with what you say. There's no way to tell if your bell is correctly rotated until you listen, but it's almost impossible to physically put a stethoscope on.
skittlestrailmix 14
If the OP is a student they probably just did this because they were nervous. The first few times working with patients can be a bit scary if you're not used to it.
sunworshiper 10
My cardiac stethoscope has a bell that can be twisted around so either the cardiac bell or the regular bell is audible. I hardly ever use the cardiac bell, but sometimes it can be twisted to that side in my backpack, and I have used the wrong side. Pretty easy fix though. Just saying it can be an easy mistake to make if his stethoscope is like mine.
Devilpuppy0861 7
Also 44 he may have been in the back of a rig. If he just went drone some super intense code three to a code two medical without realizing his ears got twisted its highly likely that could have happened. It's embarrassing but really not a huge deal.
SuperDanielNL 23
It didn't kill him so no problems, right? Sure it is embarrising, but everyobe has their moments, even doctors.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, that kind of thing happens to everyone... Although I would be slightly worried if I was your patient.
thesubconscious 9
Everyone is smoking the reefer
tjv3 10
The reefer lol yes!
Freethaawave 19
BLUNT TIME!!
SuperDanielNL 23
"Have you ever met that funny reefer-man?" "He smokes a reef he gets high then he flies through the sky, have you ever met that funny reefer-guy?" I forgot the rest of the song.
keven501 12
Haha weed 420 smoke xD... ******* dumbass
andyyroxx 20
This thread is quite a disappointment. Now closing.
Freethaawave 19
What's sad is there's clearly not enough stoners on FML...
CaptainWartortle 4
Everyone makes mistake!
andyyroxx 20
Was that comment intentionally ironic?
happylappy 21
Everybody has those days! Nobodies perfect!
mk58 31
No worries, doc, every now and then we all do dumb things. We're only human, after all. Too bad this patient of yours didn't understand that.
angeluv_2014 22
Though you have to admit, his comment on that was freakin' hilarious.
sammyf89 13
Isn't that like like medical 101?
VannahJane 17
Im pretty sure i had a toy stethoscope when i was a kid and always knew the correct way
emag_eht 18
My doctor always checks it in her own wrist first to make sure which side. So far I'm pretty much well taken care of.
InfamousLastWord 9
#61 That's what I was taught in school to do too when using a stethoscope, to prevent making that mistake.
CharresBarkrey 15
61 - That's to make sure it's not too cold. It's blatantly obvious which side is which.
Zeldafreak101 3
doctors have the best kush...
InfamousLastWord 9
So I've heard (from those who would know).
j_cat187 19
Hello Dr. Greenthumb, paging Dr. Greenthumb!
guitarbeast 22
They can write prescriptions for the good stuff ;)
lilemmy55 10
Story of my life ;)
DanielT1994 19
You've incorrectly used stethoscopes many times?
lilemmy55 10
Thronfolger knows whats up!
SqueakyChipmunk 21
You make pot smokers look bad.
BronayPonay 6
Pot smokers make themselves look bad.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Sorry. Worse*
kevsandy303 12
Don't worry, you were just under (blood) pressure.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Pushing down on me, pushing down on you...