Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
awww. poor u. well think about it this way: @ least u have a job!
JustKeepBreathin 0
That's kind of...weird. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU EMPLOYED?!?
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Comments (95)
pwincessa23 1
awww. poor u. well think about it this way: @ least u have a job!
ricars 5
shitty job?
04VWR32 6
nice
JustKeepBreathin 0
Watch OP get fired tomorrow. XD
AAShah 0
That will be OP's next FML.
DudeImBetter 0
I wonder how the heck you spent an hour trying to make a tortoise poo. Did you massage it's butt or something for an hour?
ggooo3 0
..you think you have a crap job.
ishama13 0
Admiral Apparent fits better (:
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
sounds like it was the tortoise who had a shit one
Dragons_corner 6
So OP is a poomaster. well you could have been a baited and just got promoted to masterbaiter.
rallets 22
could be worse..you could be trying to make them "shoot" their load
noname5067 0
what I don't get is how he's being doing it that long and he only just realized that that's his job...
Pg11 0
I see what you did there 50.
JustKeepBreathin 0
That's kind of...weird. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU EMPLOYED?!?
marmlr339 14
lol I was thinking that too!!!
Flamehog9 0
a zoo..?
bailes_o_hay 0
I think it's funny your employed to make animals do what they will naturally do eventually
killdozer1 2
Sounds like a sh*tty job
onecutechick101 0
that's what happens when u don't finish school. sux to be u.
LOLatU87 0
Well said, exactly what I was thinking
green_eyes124 0
Maybe op is going to be a vet and wanted experience working with animals? Still a horrible job though!
onecutechick101 0
anything dealing with making and animal shit isn't worth it
chicster 0
how do u know they didn't finish school?
pwincessa23 1
24, she is obviously psychick... idgaf if it's spelled wrong!
onecutechick101 0
by there job. and what?
allmidnighteyes 10
Kneegrow, you are seventeen, and unless you dropped out, you are still in school. Shut up.
chicster 0
By your ASSumption they didn't finish school and by your bad grammar and spelling, I know you didn't either.
stewpididiot 11
onecutecchick .. that's being pretty judgmental, OP may have several degrees for all you know. there are also a lot of people with degrees flipping burgers and scrubbing toilets because they're not to proud to just work at whatever pays the bills.
SoLiD_DeViL 0
a zoologist, biologist and veterinarian are likely to do similar things in their line of work.
SoLiD_DeViL 0
Its a good thing your cute.
chicster 0
not even cute.. just typical
MexRomeo 0
no she not cute she's got a horse face... most peoples head is round her goes up and down like a peanut she could be pretty if her attitude wasn't so shitty!
CandidateForWax 0
*Their. Seems like you didn't finish school either :)
BrutalFbomb 5
wow chill people , and btw I do find her pretty, besides mex looks like you gotta shitty attitude to match your hideousness
cokyspaniel 0
I guess you didn't finish school either...... but u could totally be a model
CantusVulpis 12
For some reason, I see this as a student in high school, or college. You know, people work while they're in school too... And if they weren't in school, sounds like a veterinarian's job, which requires a degree.
LokiCain 0
that takes the term shit job to a whole new level. lol shit job it's a pun.
chloec16 0
well done captain obvious
theblackpoop 0
hahahaha I get it now thankyou for explaining!!! hahahah
skyttlz 32
I don't get it. Just Kidding, captain Obvious!
Bcaw 0
did you eat its poo?
LOLatU87 0
Nom nom nom
omgYoUbasTards 0
what happens with said turtle poo??
chloec16 0
that's what I'd like to know!
maphineRAWRS 10
what job is that? like what's it called cause I've never heard of that before!
MsShayeShaye 0
Working in a zoo...
JocelynKaulitz 28
wait I don't get it, can someone help me outt?
04VWR32 6
probably works for a zoo is my guess
JocelynKaulitz 28
I get it noww thxx
04VWR32 6
anytime
Barbarossa_fml 0
she can help you get it out?
Emo_Lover 0
Dam that suck ass.
Caliskaterboy213 0
ZING!!
BigEV 0
If that bothers you to the point where you're submitting an entry to this site, you should find another occupation. You should've realized what you were getting into when you accepted the job.