Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (4954)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (6421)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (6238)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (1985)
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28395) - you deserved it (3120)
On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (1788)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (1337)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (4696)
On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)
Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (2462)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by AKGrace (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (8260)
On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (2697)
On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (3170)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (2528)
On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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