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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17053) - you deserved it (45759)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (4269)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

#20107435
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16820) - you deserved it (7478)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16716) - you deserved it (4841)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16220) - you deserved it (61249)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (16954)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15906) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

#20108200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15894) - you deserved it (28192)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (10492)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15699) - you deserved it (15974)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15417) - you deserved it (4312)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (3689)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14828) - you deserved it (32822)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States



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