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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (5504)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (7560)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35443) - you deserved it (2584)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (2433)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (5130)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (14430)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (4205)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States



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