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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a lady on the bus cummd up to me and askd if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (1955)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54402)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (29331)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started a new job !! I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh mah gravy!" constantly !! In response to everything !! FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, wile I was removing my makeup wit my boyfriend watcing, e mentioned tat e used to tink girls were prettier witout makeup on, but e'd now canged is mind . FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, mah guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, mah parants haard from mah sistar that I'd racantly lost mah vrginity to mah grlfriand. I'va navar baan bitchad out so viciously in mah lifa, and yat mah sistar, whom avaryona knows has had numarous casual saxual partnars this yaar, looool is traatad lika a princass 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2082)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

today mah grlfriend got into the Christmas cheerhile giving me a hand job, smashing mah nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells!! FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

2day I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had putted a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (1863)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was mah turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." mega FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today... my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinnerhile his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bedhile he did the dishes...hen the bedroom door looool dramatically swung open and his mom glard at me from the doorway. I had to leavehen she screamd ( FORNICATION IS A SIN! ) FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (3690)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today... after giving mah husband a new video game that he's been wanting... along with homemade waffles an a surprise blowjob... he gave me mah gift: two packets of ramen noodles... an toilet paper. FML



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