Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dads favourite position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (49641)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15906) - you deserved it (869)
On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10149)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16257) - you deserved it (1230)
On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14727) - you deserved it (2691)
On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19460) - you deserved it (5213)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (7906)
On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States
Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (1363)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States
Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14041) - you deserved it (1368)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (18491)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3047)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (1718)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (8566)
On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)
Monday 20 May 2013
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