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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you deserved it (1695)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (7742)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19749) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (33422)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (14340)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (4133)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (30320)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (2421)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (2201)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (4483)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33674) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)



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