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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (1614)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (26503)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (5438)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (1770)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (4717)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1640)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17442) - you deserved it (4051)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (1621)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)



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