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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (4713)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (27164)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10569) - you deserved it (24211)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (3367)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (2955)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24140) - you deserved it (3410)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (2384)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (2025)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (6534)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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